W.C. Fields

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa.  Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
I’ve been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don’t know. It’s hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil’s Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon – and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
I always keep a supply of liquor handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
I never eat breakfast on an empty stomach.

Joe E. Lewis

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
I went on a diet, swore off eating and heavy drinking, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
I drink to forget I drink.

P.J. O’Rourke

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do.
I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow then to spend tonight like there’s no money.

Dave Barry

I’ve never been into wine. I’m a beer man. What I like about beer is you basically just drink it and order more.  You don’t sniff at it, or hold it up to the light and slosh it around, or drone on and on about it, the way people do with wine.  Your beer drinker tend to be a straightforward, decent, friendly, down-to-earth person, whereas your serious wine fancier tends to be an insufferable snot.
I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of Communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Not all chemicals are bad.  Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

Ernest Hemingway

It was as natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking beer.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let’s go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.

Winston Churchill

Most people hate the taste of beer – to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice.
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
“Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.” — Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
“Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.” — His reply

Oscar Wilde

I can resist everything except temptation.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Moderation is a fatal thing – nothing succeeds like excess.
We are all of us in the gutter. But some of us are looking at the stars.

Anonymous

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
In Vino Veritas, In Cervesio Felicitas (In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is joy)
Beer is the reason I get up every afternoon.
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can’t say it.
Upon being told I have a drinking problem I gave careful consideration and completely agree. I’ve two hands and only one mouth.

Miscellaneous

Wine gives strength to weary men.
— Homer

Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul, gives being to our hopes, bids the cowards flight, drives dull care away, and teaches new means for the accomplishment of our wishes.
— Horace

And wine can of their wits the wise beguile, Make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.
— Alexander Pope

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
— David Daye

Adhere to the Schweinheitsgebot.  Don’t put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn’t eat.
— David Geary

DO RE MI Drink:
DOUGH, the stuff, that buys me beer;
RAY, the guy that sells me beer;
ME, the one, who drinks the beer;
FAR, a long run to get beer;
SO, I’ll have another beer;
LA, I’ll have another beer;
TEA, no thanks I’m drinking beer;
That will bring us back to… (looks in empty glass) D’OH!
— Homer Simpson’s beer song

Let schoolmasters puzzle their brains
With grammar, and nonsense, and learning,
Good liquor, I stoutly maintain,
Gives genius a better discerning
— Oliver Goldsmith (1728 – 1774), Irish poet

One more drink and I’d be under the host.
— Dorothy Parker

My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I’m lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time.
— “A Wolverine Is Eating My Leg”

I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer.
— Lady Astor, social reformist
Who wouldn’t?
— A voice from the crowd

People who drink “light” beer don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
— Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

A “good” beer is one that sells! You may think it sucks, but if the market embraces it, so be it. Now a “great” beer or world-class beer is another matter…
— Jim Busch

Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime!
— Bill Owen

Why, if ’tis dancing you would be,
There’s brisker pipes than poetry.
Say, for what were hop-yards meant,
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh many a peer of England brews
Livelier liquor than the Muse,
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God’s ways to man.
Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think:
Look into the pewter pot
To see the world as the world’s not.
— A.E. Housman

Why is there so much wine left at the end of my money?
— Milan Maximovich

Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chamber of my brain.
Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away.
What I care how time advances;
I am drinking ale today.
— Edgar Allen Poe

Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That’s all that we will know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you and I sigh.
— William Butler Yeats

Beer is made by men, wine by God!
— Martin Luther

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society, except that which makes the road safer, the beer stronger, old men and women warmer in the winter, and happier in the summer.
— Irish novelist Brendan Behan

I love to drink martinis.
Two at the very most.
Three I’m under the table.
Four I’m under the host!
— Dorothy Parker

We’re in such a slump that even the ones that are drinkin’ aren’t hittin’.
— Casey Stengel

Eat thy bread with joy,
And drink thy wine with a merry heart.
— Ecclesiastes 9:10

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.
— Gore Vidal

When money’s tight and hard to get
And your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
A pint of plain is your only man.
— Old Irish toast

Beer drinkin’ don’t do half the harm of love makin’.
— Old New England proverb.

Pure water is the best gifts a man can bring.
But who am I that I should have the best of anything?
Let princes revel at the pump, let peers with ponds make free,
…beer is good enough for me.
— Lord Neaves

Let us sing our own treasures, Old England’s good cheer,
To the profits and pleasures of stout British beer;
Your wine tippling, dram sipping fellows retreat,
But your beer drinking Britons can never be beat.
The French with their vineyards and meager pale ale,
They drink from the squeezing of half ripe fruit;
But we, who have hop-yards to mellow our ale,
Are rosy and plump and have freedom to boot.
— English drinking song, circa 1757

Why, we’ll smoke and drink our beer.
For I like a drop of good beer, I does.
I’ze fond of good beer, I is.
Let gentlemen fine sit down to their wine.
But we’ll all of us here stick to our beer.
— Old Somersetshire English song

When the hour is nigh,
Let me in a tavern die,
With a tankard by me.
— Archpoet, “Confesio,” 12th century

Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter. Sermons and soda water the day after.
— Lord Byron

Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.
— George Bernard Shaw

I’m not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
— Noel Coward

An alcoholic is anyone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
— Dylan Thomas

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don’t win many ball games.
— Casey Stengel

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?
— Henny Youngman

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.
— Dean Martin

I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry.
— Robert Benchley

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
— Rodney Dangerfield

Real ale fans are just like train-spotters, only drunk.
— Christopher Howse

What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.
— Diogenes

A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.
— Jonathan Swift

There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking.
— Benjamin Franklin

I would give all of my fame for a pot of ale and safety.
— William Shakespeare

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
— Miguel de Cervantes

A little bit of beer is divine medicine.
— Paracelsus, Greek physician

I’m Catholic and I can’t commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death.
— Jack Kerouac

Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
— Thomas Jefferson

Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and celebrate the good days.
— Ancient Egyptian proverb

I recommend bread, meat, vegetables, and beer.
— Sophocles

Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.
— Samuel Johnson

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
— George Bernard Shaw

If the headache preceded the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
— Samuel Butler

It only takes one drink to get me drunk, but I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or fourteenth.
— George Burns

Drink to me.
— Pablo Picasso’s last words

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
— George Best

The heart which grief hath cankered
Hath one unfailing remedy – the tankard.
— C.S. Calverly

Then trust me, there’s nothing like drinking
So pleasant this side of the grave;
It keeps the unhappy from thinking,
And makes e’en the valiant more brave.
— Charles Didbin

The first draught serveth for health, the second for pleasure, the third for shame, the fourth for madness.
— Sir Walter Raleigh

An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor.
— Alvan L. Barach

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
— Lord Byron

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.
— Finley Peter Dunne

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
— Irish proverb

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
— Dean Martin

My grandmother is eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
— Henny Youngman

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.
— Louis Pasteur

The world needs water. For every bottle of wine you drink you contribute to conserving the drinking water reserves
— Paul Emil Victor

Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.
— Karl Marx

The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
— William Blake

Gin and drugs, dear lady, gin and drugs.
— T.S. Eliot, when asked about inspiration

I envy people who drink – at least they know who to blame everything on.
— Oscar Levant

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
— Richard Braunstein

This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
— Samuel Johnson

Wine is made to be drunk as women are made to be loved; profit by the freshness of youth or the splendor of maturity; do not await decrepitude.
— Theophile Malvezin

Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.
— Napoleon

Beer isn’t just beer… beer needs a home.
— Die Welt, German newspaper, 1976

Light beer is an invention of the Prince of Darkness.
— Inspector Morse, Mystery

Put it back in the horse!
— H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the ’30s-’50s, after he drank his first American beer at a bar.

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
— Henry Lawson

Payday came and with it beer.
— Rudyard Kipling

The selling of bad beer is a crime against Christian love.
— Law, city of Ausburg, 13th century

Beer brewers shall sell no beer to the citizens, unless it be three weeks old; to the foreigner they may knowingly sell younger beer.
— German beer law, 1466

Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.
— Frederick the Great

There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says ‘Good people drink good beer.’ Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.
— Hunter S. Thompson

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness – or as good as drink.
— G.K. Chesterton

Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
— Ambrose Bierce

Deep Thought: Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
— Jack Handy

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
— Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.
— William Butler Yeats

Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat, hairy girls.
— Ross Levy

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
— Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
— Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!
— Brian O’Rourke

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
— Frank Zappa

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
— Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
— Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
— Kaiser Wilhelm

Praise not the day until evening has come; a woman until she is burnt; a sword until it is tried; a maiden until she is married; ice until it has been crossed; beer until it has been drunk.
— Viking Proverb

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he’s carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he’s carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you’re drunk.
— Jack Handy

He was a wise man who invented wine.
— Plato

Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
— Catherine Zandonella

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
— Henny Youngman

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
— Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
— David Moulton

I drink to make other people interesting.
— George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.
— Washington Irving

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
— Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.
— Homer Simpson

Man’s way to God is with beer in hand.
— Koffyar Tribal Wisdom, Nigeria

But if at church they give some ale And a pleasant fire for our souls to regale We’d sing and we’d pray all the live long day Nor ever once from the church to stray. Beer drinkin’ don’t do half the harm of love makin’.
— Old New England proverb

Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul.
— Alexander Pope

I’ve always believed that paradise will have my favorite beer on tap.
— Rudyard Wheatley

Here’s a toast to the roast that good fellowship lends, with the sparkle of beer and wine; May its sentiment always be deeper, my friends, than the foam at the top of the stein. Then here’s to the heartening wassail, wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.
— Ogden Nash

If the hangover preceded the binge, alcoholism would be considered a virtue and not a vice.
— Gregory Bateson, anthropologist/psychologist

The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.
— Ancient Egyptian Wisdom, 2200 B.C.

The best beer is where priests go to drink. For a quart of Ale is a dish for a King.
— Shakespeare, “A Winter’s Tale”

For we could not now take time for further search (to land our ship) our victuals being much spent, especially our Beere.
—Ship’s log of the Mayflower

But the greatest love–the love above all loves, Even greater than that of a mother… Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another.
— Irish love ballad

Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass, down with the beer!
— Louis Untermeyer

A drink a day, keeps the shrink away.
— Edward Abbey

Things don’t make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that’s something everyone can do.
— Drew Carey

Last time I was sober, man I felt bad,
Worst hangover that I ever had.
It took six hamburgers, Scotch all night,
Nicotine for breakfast just to put me right.
— Mark Knopfler, “Heavy Fuel”

Ale it is called among men, and among gods, beer.
— First recorded mention of the word ‘ale’, 950 A.D. (Old Norse Alvisimal)

He that drinks strong beer, and goes to bed mellow, lives as he ought to live, and dies a hearty fellow.
— 17th century English drinking song

As he brews so shall he drink.
— Ben Johnson

I wish to see this beverage become common instead of the whiskey which kills one-third of our citizens and ruins their families.
— Thomas Jefferson, on beer, January 6, 1816

The best place to drink beer is at home. Or on a river bank, if the fish don’t bother you.
— American folk saying

When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?
— J.P. Donleavy (The Ginger Man)

The best way to die is sit under a tree, eat lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer, then blow up.
— Art Donovan, a.k.a. Fatso (Baltimore Colts lineman in the ’50s and ’60s)

While you merely see the disease being viruses, I see the benign microorganisms which by making, among other things, strong beers… and enable you to spend your evening in alcoholic bliss.
— Patrick McGinley, 1978 (Bogmail)

A statesman is an easy man, he tells his lies by rote. A journalist invents his lies, and rams them down your throat. So stay at home and drink your beer and let the neighbors vote.
— William Butler Yeats

As to the way of life of the English, they are somewhat impolite, for they belch at the table without shame. They consume great quantities of beer.
— Father Etienne Perlin, 1558.

Give an Irishman lager for a month and he’s a dead man. An Irishman’s stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.
— Mark Twain

O Beer! O Hodgson, Guinness, Allsopp, Bass! Names that should be on every infant’s tongue.
— C.V. Calverly

“Come, guess me this riddle, what beats pipes and fiddle,
What’s hotter than mustard and milder than cream?
What best wets your whistle, what’s clearer than crystal,
What’s sweeter than honey and stronger than steam?
What’ll make the dumb talk, what’ll make the lame walk,
What’s the elixir of life and philosopher’s stone?
What helped Mr. Brunel to dig the Thames Tunnel?
Wasn’t it whiskey, me boys, from old Inishowen?”
— “The Humours of Whiskey”

If all be true that I do think, there are five reasons we should drink;
Good wine – a friend – or being dry -
Or lest we should be by and by – or any other reason why.
— Henry Aldrich

There are two reasons for drinking:
One is, when you are thirsty, to cure it;
The other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.
— Thomas Love Peacock

Here’s to a long life, and a merry one; a quick death, and an easy one; a pretty girl, and an honest one; a cold beer – and another one!
— Irish toast

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
— Homer J. Simpson

Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation. Meyer Breslau Beer once tasted like something. It was made out of malt and hops and yeast and pure filtered water… Nowadays it is often made of such gook as rice and corn grits… nothing but dirty water. It’s so light and clear it’s nothing…ignoble swill.
— Charles McCabe, 1960

Cover a war in a place where you can’t drink beer or talk to a woman? Hell no!
— Hunter S. Thompson, on the Gulf War

Drunks Like You

You can always retake a class, but you can never relive a party.
— Drew Navikas

starkle starkle little twink
who the heck are you i think
im not under what you call
the alcofluence of incohol
im just a little slort of sheep
im not drunk like tinkle peep
i dont who is me yet
but the drunker i stand here, the longer i get
so just give me one more drink to fill my cup
’cause i got all day sober..to sunday up!

“When in doubt, take a shot.”
“It’s not whether or not you throw up, it’s whether or not you keep going.”
“Boot and rally!”
“You can’t fall off the wagon, if you’re never on it.”
The Shriners’ can tabs for kids program: “We drink for the kids!”
“I’m training to be a pilot.”
— from KJ

Drinking Toasts

Here’s to a guy who is never blue
Here’s to a buddy who is ever true
Here’s to a pal, no matter what the load
Never declines one for the road
— Anonymous

Here’s champagne to our real friends
And real pain to our sham friends.
— Francis Bacon

A round to the best
May we never get less
A round to the worst
May they die of thirst.
— Scottish

‘Tis better to buy a small bouquet
And give to your friend this very day
Than a bushel of roses white and red
To lay on his coffin after he’s dead.
— Irish

Here’s to the man who takes the pledge
Who keeps his word and does not hedge
Who won’t give up and won’t give in
Till the last man’s out and there’s no more gin.
— Irish

Here’s hoping you live forever
And mine is the last voice you hear.
— Willard Scott

Better a well known drunkard
Than an anonymous alcoholic.
— Spanish

I used to know a clever toast
But now I cannot think it
So fill your glass to anything
And damn your souls, I’ll drink it!
— Wallace Irwin

Work like you don’t need the money
Love like you’ve never been hurt
Dance like no-one is watching
Screw like it’s being filmed
And drink like a true Irishman.
— Anonymous

To the rapturous, wild, and ineffable pleasure
Of drinking at somebody else’s expense.
— Henry Sambrooke Leigh

Drink, for you know not when you came nor why
Drink, for you know not why you go nor whence.
— Omar Khayyam

He who makes a beast of himself
Gets rid of the pain of being a man.
— Samuel Johnson

I love to sing and I love to drink
But most people like to hear me drink.
— George Burns

Here’s to doing and drinking,
Not sitting and thinking.
— Anonymous

Here’s to steak when you’re hungry
Whiskey when you’re dry
A lover when you need one
And Heaven when you die.
— Irish

May you never go to hell
But always be on your way.
— Yiddish

May the Devil make a ladder of your backbone
While he is picking apples in the garden of Hell.
— Irish

May you be in Heaven an hour before
The Devil knows you’re dead.
— Irish

Sing a song of sick gents
Pockets full of rye
Four and twenty highballs
We wish that we might die.
— Anonymous

Let us have wine and women
Mirth and laughter
Sermons and soda-water
The day after.
— Lord Byron

Life is a banquet and most poor sons of bitches are starving to death.
— Patrick Dennis

When you’re bleeding in the sand
Don’t let your courage fade
When life deals you a bad hand
Throw hand grenades.
— Pre D-Day Toast

In my own country
I am in a faraway land
I am strong
Yet have no force or power
I win all
Yet remain a loser
At break of day
I say good night
When I lie down
I have a great fear of falling.
— Francois Villon

Here’s to whiskey, scotch and rye
Amber, smooth, and clear
Not as sweet as a woman’s lips
But a damn sight more sincere.
— Anonymous

Here’s to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold drink—and another one.
— Irish

No matter how beautiful
Smart and full of class
To somebody, somewhere
S she’s a major pain in the ass.
— Anonymous

No one frolics
Like we alcoholics.
— Anonymous

People talk about our drinking
But never about our thirst.
— Scottish

With this glass, rich and deep
We cradle all our sorrows to sleep.
— Anonymous

Here’s to those who wish us well
As for the rest, they can go to Hell.
— Anonymous

Let us drink with impunity
Or anyone else who’s buying.
— W.C. Fields

What shall we drink to?
To four in the morning!
— Anonymous

While we live
Let’s live.
— Italian

When the going gets weird
The weird turn pro.
— Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Drinks are on the house
So someone get a ladder.
— Anonymous

Lift ‘em high and drain ‘em dry
To the guy who says, “My turn to buy!”
— Anonymous

Success to the lover
Honor to the brave
Health to the sick
And freedom to the slave.
— English

Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy
But enough about me, here’s to you.
— Anonymous

Drink today and drown all sorrow
You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow
Best while you have it, use your breath
There is no drinking after death.
— Francis Beaumont & John Fletcher